Everything You Need To Know About Your Circle Of Influence.
"Birds Of A Feather, Flock Together". An idiom we have all learnt & grew up on"in English, French, German,Cantonese et al". Whether or not if it's a fact.. I will leave that up to you to decide upon. But having the right and wrong people in our social circles can determine a great much on how we live our lives, how motivated we are, how much we think critically, and of course how we make our decisions. At 13 onwards to later teenage years, you most likely want to do everything the "crowd or your friends" are doing; and I mean in the same manner. Same clothes, same hair, same outfits etc etc etc... It's called nurture, & that's what socializing brings and It's an acceptable discovery phase.
However, when your early 20s starts to knock on your door, that again tends to change, and this is where things start to get serious. Early adulthood has some form of determination on what we do and how we live for the rest of our lives, in my opinion.
For me, my early 20s were mainly about partying, shopping, partying and partying, because of 2 reasons:
- I thought that I had plenty of time in the world (trust me I did not feel like I was growing up)
- My circle of influence
Now, I am not about to play the blame game here as I was adult enough to make my own decisions and no one forced those one off tequila shots down my throat. (even though I hated tequila), and neither should you. However, having the right set of persons in your crew, in your group, in your circle of friends can either help you propel your life to a whole new level or keep you stagnant doing the same things, until that "pre-midlife crisis" you might experience, like I shared in This Post, when your entire world changes and you need to reinvent yourself, your life, and your circle.
Peer pressure is a real thing, even if there isn't really any pressure. Just the thought of being seen as an outsider is pressure on its own. The point of this long babbling, my story kinda post is mainly to give you a wake-up call. I chose an unstructured theme because I want to exude a bit more of me, a bit more realness and a bit more chill vibe in it.
If I could give you one bit of advice now, it would be to pay attention to your crew. If it is poisoning your soul "even if you don't feel like it is" you need to change it.
If it is preventing you from doing the things you love openly, you need to change it. If you regret going to the weekend parties every following morning because you are still drunk and hangover as fuck.. YOU NEED TO CHANGE IT!.
Realising this will save you some regret, like
- being more careful with your body..let's be real, don't act like you don't know what I'm talking bout,
- being riskier in a careful kind of way .. like doing more challenges
- travelling more and seeing more of the world.. because by the time you hit 28 and you didn't you will wish you did..
- figuring out your life's purpose, and setting more fulfilling goals for yourself that will build on that purpose..
The last point I will focus on for now because I never really pursued any of my goals, until after the Pre-MidLife Crisis.Because I did an evaluation, of my accomplishments, of what skills I possessed, of my mindset, of what I genuinely really wanted in life. To live fully & wholeheartedly. If I had the chance of a do over, would I take it? Probably not, because the lessons I've learnt I probably would not learn them on that new path.
Now, don't get me wrong, I am sure you love your friends, your peeps.. Yes, I did too, but if the relationships aren't positive ones, if they don't resonate with your goals, if they're preventing your progress, your success, your achievement of milestones, maybe it's time reevaluated them, started to accept the fact and start creating newer more positive ones.
How about trying:
- Conversing with your circle and ask questions beyond the "what are we gonna do this weekend norm?" How about, "Have you guys ever thought of what goals you want to achieve in life?" If that's never been the topic of interest in your group, I am sure it will be a great conversation starter as it will allow for some maturity of thought here. It also allows you to give your peers a chance to be on a same greater page with you..or figure out what life purposes they have. Who knows, they may have some hidden passions you don't know of, or are afraid to share because of fear of feedback...
- Try reaching out to other circles which share the same or similar interests "positive goal calling ones by that" as you. It could be a motivational facebook group or a club on the weekends, plus this could be a great place to build newer, healthier longer lasting friendships.
- Be real, be rigid and cut out the negativity. Let's face it, we all at some point have all had the relationship, best friend friendships we thought we perfecttt until a serious conversation comes up. If the words coming out of somebody's mouth wounds you deeply and no apology is issued, chances are, they were well thought of.Especially if it's towards a better version you.
Get The Picture....Haven't figured out what your goals are or afraid to go after them? Take the fear assessment challenge, figure out your passion, and create an action plan for your derived personal goal & purpose in the Goal Clarity Course.